Impatience Is a Form of Resistance (And Your Dog Can Feel It)

I have neighbors who yell at their dogs to potty faster. It’s cold out. They want to go back inside. I get it, I really do. I think it’s cold too. But yelling and getting frustrated won’t make a dog pee or poop faster. It won’t help at all. It will add pressure. & dogs don’t move faster under pressure. They carry it. They feel it. And then that anxiety shows up not just during potty time, but on walks, during training, in moments where we wish they’d “just do the thing already.” This is where I’m reminded again and again that impatience is a form of resistance.

The Quiet Resistance We Don’t Always Notice

We usually think of resistance as something obvious, skipping training, giving up, not listening to your trainer, or refusing to engage. But impatience is quieter. It slips in under the surface.

It sounds like:

• They should know this by now.

• Why is this still hard?

• Can’t we hurry this up?

Impatience is resistance wearing a polite smile. When we rush our dogs, push for progress before they’re ready, or feel frustrated with the pace of learning, we’re not resisting the dog, we’re resisting the process. & The dogs live in the process.

Dogs Live in the Process, Not the Outcome

Dogs don’t wake up thinking about end goals. They aren’t trying to master loose leash walking, proof a cue, or “graduate” from a training phase. They’re present. Completely. When we get impatient, we leave that shared moment. Our bodies tense. Our timing gets sloppy. The leash tightens. Our voice changes. And our dog feels it. Dogs are experts at reading emotional weather.

Not because they’re stubborn.

Not because they’re difficult.

But because pressure is confusing.

What Impatience Communicates (Even When We Don’t Mean It To)

To a dog, impatience can feel like:

• “You’re doing this wrong.”

• “I need you to hurry.”

• “This isn’t good enough yet.”

Even if we never say those words out loud. & here’s the paradox: the more impatient we become, the slower progress feels. Resistance meets resistance. It also can actually make progress go slower. If you rush through basics & foundational skills, your dog is going to be confused in higher demand environments.

Structure Without Pressure

I’ve trained my dog to potty on cue. I’ve intentionally set things up so when my dad takes her out, because he’s doing us a favor, she knows to go quickly for him. That’s fair. That’s clear communication. Sometimes I also need her to potty quickly & so I cue her to go. Not being impatient does not mean never reaching your goals. But outside of that, I give her time. I give her sniffing time because it’s good for her nervous system and her well-being. Bathroom breaks are not just for her to use the bathroom, its a break for her brain too. & even when its cold out a few minute break is important for her.

The same balance matters in training too:

• Clear cues

• Thoughtful setups

• And space to learn without being rushed

Even when I’m tired. Even when it’s cold. Even when I’m in a hurry. My impatience isn’t her problem to solve.

Patience Isn’t Passive—It’s Active Trust

Positive training isn’t about letting dogs do whatever they want. It’s about meeting them exactly where they are, then guiding them forward with clarity and kindness.

Patience looks like:

• Repetition without resentment

• Adjusting criteria instead of expectations

• Celebrating small wins like they’re big ones (because they are)

When we practice patience, we stop fighting reality & start working with it.

I try to be present with my dog, but I’ll be honest, I do get impatient sometimes. When it happens now, I don’t yell or let frustration spill out.Instead, I tell my dog I love her. It sounds small, almost silly, but it changes everything. My shoulders drop. I breathe again. The waiting becomes easier. I feel better telling her I love her than focusing on wanting this time with her to be over. That same shift applies in training. When I soften instead of push, learning flows better. Not faster, better. For me & for her.

When Impatience Creeps In, Pause

Instead of pushing harder, try asking:

• What skill is my dog actually missing right now?

• Is this task too big, too fast, or too hard?

• Am I training the dog in front of me, or the dog I wish they were today?

That pause alone can dissolve resistance on both sides of the leash.

Progress Loves Permission

The moment we give dogs permission to learn at their own pace, something shifts:

• Confidence grows

• Communication sharpens

• Trust deepens

And progress comes not through force, but through partnership.

Impatience says, “This shouldn’t take this long.”

Patience says, “We’re right on time.”

And dogs?

Dogs always thrive when we choose the second voice.